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It’s 4 am and I’m still not home cuz I’m aware that I’ll die alone. Stave off the new day, the only way of pushing back on inevitability. I’m spoiling meat. I can’t fucking sleep, and my mind is always wandering. I’m that sickening burn in the pit of your gut. I’m the scab that you rip from your cut. I’m the discomfort under your skin. I’m the sadness behind your grin. All my demons came back in my head to nest. All my demons came back. Fuck.
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2. |
Taddy Mason
02:56
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I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be lobotomized. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to fucking be lobotomized. So, we spend time. Would you meet me on the other side? I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to be lobotomized. When your spirit leaves your body could you ask me what I’m doing? I’ll be chilling, sitting lonely, just the ghost of a ghost. So, maybe I want to die. Maybe I just want to be lobotomized, cuz there’s nothing on the other side and you won’t be there either so... You gut me. Your spirit is just a figment of your imagination. This is all just a simulation. Fuck. We ain’t got no souls. This is all just a simulation.
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I need to get out of my mind for a little bit. I need to stop being such a piece of shit. Wish any of this made a sliver of sense. If only my brain wasn’t condensed into this little oil slick. Have you ever been so bored? Take a little rip, take a little more? You don’t wanna be, where you are, you don’t wanna be anywhere at all. I just can’t wait to not exist. This coffee’s making me sick. This car ride’s making me feel like I might spew my guts all over the floor; I’m not used to being a passenger. So, we drive around in these end of days and immerse ourselves in awful things, cuz we are all just chemistry. I just can’t wait to not exist. Love was not enough, we’ve got this broken home, with these disjointed bodies, it’s all aesthetics. You are what you let people see. I am who you made me.
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